New product testing. I will review later today.

http://h5.sml360.com/-/9umb

I have not posted much about anything. This summer has come and gone. I am making some life changes that are much needed all for the better. I am trying to be better at me and doing the things that I love. Stay tuned.

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Coppertone Clearly Sheer

I have to say this is one of the best products that me and my family have used. Typically sunscreen turns white or does not stay smears, smudges etc. I have been using this on my six year old for all of June and he has not had a sun burn or anything which is always great. In the past we have always bought children's and adult sunscreen but this time we have just used the same product and I am very pleased. I dont rave about too many products because usually things are disappointing. We love to be outside in the summer whether its in the pool at the sprayground or just playing. I am always concerned about applying and reapplying products, this was so easy not greasy......One thing I really liked was it did not run after being in the water.

Great Job Copportone. Now we have a new family product.

I have been MIA......

I have been pretty busy with life but that is nothing new. However I want to talk about my weekend. We went to Philadelphia to celebrate his graduation from Drexel University. With the help of some friends, I was able to arrange for a very nice dinner at a restaurant called Ocean's Prime. Everything was spectacular, well not everything. Some of our dinner guest had no idea what certain things meant. Me being 36 years old. I just naturally assume that people know things by the time they reach a certain age. Things that I do not know or know about I tend to teach myself about them or at least try to get a basic understanding of them.  I get everyone comes from different places and have different experiences in life. This particular guest did not know what a Filet Mignon, Her Covert was nor what it meant to order A La Carte. It was a little shocked but made me want to learn even more. If we are not learning something daily then what are we doing? Life is full of opportunities to teach and to learn.

Now back to the dinner. Everything was timed perfectly. When we arrived, our wine Silver Palm 2011 was already decanted and waiting for us. We started with Calamari, Mini Crab Cakes and Goat Cheese Ravioli. Our next course included a salad made with romaine lettuce, granny smith apples, glazed walnuts, goat cheese and a mustard vinaigrete. Main course menu options were a filet with her covert and smashed potatoes, a salmon with a teriyaki glaze on a bed or risotto and there was a free bird chicken option but no one had it. For desert we had lemon cheesecake with a blueberry glaze and my husband had his favorite creme brulee.

Sweet & Spicy Calamari

Special Creme Brulee

Lemon Cheesecake with Blueberry Glaze

Fliet Mignon with Her Cover and smashed potatoes

Mini Crab Cakes with Corn Salsa

Goat Cheese Ravioli

Teriyaki Salamon

Dinner Salad

Good2Grow

I am pretty sure I have one of the pickiest kids in the world. He is picky about everything so whenever I an find something that he really enjoys, I run and stock up on it. Thanks to Bzzagent and Good2Grow, we were able to try these drinks and he loved them. He loves the apple more than anything. He was a bit disappointed when he could not find the TMNT head to drink from but loves the Spongebob. This is such a great alternative to some of the other products for children that are out there. When he was smaller, he only drank apple juice and stopped so I was very shocked that this was the one he chose. Happy Mom!!! Happy Kid!!!

Why Settle....Its just not right

This past weekend, we traveled to Richmond to go to a show. So we went a day early just to have a night out and be away. Anyway by the time we arrived it was almost 8:30 p.m. being tired we decided just to eat at the hotel. As always I study the menu reading options, looking at ingredients to figure out what to have. Most of the options sounded good, but I decided to get Pork Osso Buco. I had just made veal osso buco a few days early, so I wanted to see how I paired to a restaurant. Although this was pork and mines was veal all of the recipes I have ever seemed pretty much had the same ingredients with a few variations. I actually misread the menu for what the dish included. For some reason I thought it said Risotto with barley. When my plate came, It looked okay, but was not what I had expected. I was hoping it tasted better than what it looked. There were two shanks on the plate on top of Risotto and a sauce drizzled around the plate.

I began to eat my meal and soon discovered it was not what I was hoping for. The risotto was actually all barley and not a good flavor and I was not particular about the texture of it. The shanks were a little dry but I was hoping as I cut them up, the inside would be more tender and pleasing. Well it was not. I dipped it in the sauce again hoping it would come out different. Still it was not good. My husband asked me how did it taste. As I said pass me the salt and pepper. I told him it was not great. So right after the waiter walked by and asked the same, I said everything was fine. I thought to myself, why did I just say it was fine and it was not. I was thinking this cost $21.00 a plate so I should get some kind of gratification out of it. But I think many times we say things are okay when they are not.

So what's my That for this post: Often times, we enter into relationships or friendships hoping that they are something wonderful. We have our own interpretation of what is presented to us and what this other person may bring to the table. But like with this meal, I did not ask the waiter as I typically do anything about what I was about to eat. Just like with people we often look past the details and dive in. Then we begin to notice whats wrong and keep trying different things to make it better, but in the long run you are still left with what was originally presented. Then we soon realize we have settled for something we really did not want. Like when the waiter asked me did I like my meal, I should have said no. For whatever reason this time I did not and settled for what was there and was disappointed. How many times do we do that in real time and real life. You settle for what is there and never question it, you try to correct it, add to it, change it but you cant change something that was already there if you did not do it in the beginning. For instance, if my shanks were prepared different they may have tasted different. When you are in a relationship/friendship do you look at what the ingredients are, what each person is doing and gauge its appropriateness for what you are looking for? If its not what are you doing to change it. After my shank was done, I could not change the texture, the taste or anything because I did not prepare it. Just like you did not create the other person that you are going through your experiences with. You can not change them and they can not change you. It has to be self actualization and realization that change needs to occur.When someone says "Is everything okay" How do you respond? Do you give an answer to satisfy the other person and you suffer in silence. Well suffering in silence helps no one, especially not you. What happens, you finally walk away unfulfilled, unsatisfied and wanting something else. Most of it could have been avoided if we would be honest in all situations no matter how big or how small. Can you tell a waiter you are not pleased with your meal and not worry about it. Can you tell your friend there is something wrong in our friendship, and overcome whatever it is and remain friends. Can you do this in any relationship and work to fix it or if can not be fixed can you leave that relationship. Just like I left my food on the plate because for me it was not edible.

My realization is, if I would have just simply told the waiter that I did not like my meal and replaced it with something else, I would not have been so disappointed by the end. My excuse that night was I was just so tired and hungry that I did not feel like waiting for another meal or anything, I just wanted to eat and go to bed. I think we have all been in the situation where we did not want to wait and was just tired of things in life, so we have settled for one thing or another. But, next time I challenge you not to settle-you know what you need, what you desire and what is satisfying to you. What will you do to make the next thing better? Its all up to you.

Its Broken.....so why not throw it away

One of my favorite spatulas broke in half this past Sunday. I did not even realize it was my favorite until it broke. The history of this spatula that is was my then boyfriend now husbands spatula. You know when you merge households everyone has to give up something to make room for both people. Well this spatula was his and I tried to get rid of it long time ago and he said it was his favorite so I kept it. Now almost 9 years later the handle broke in half and I can no longer cook with it. The handle cracked more than a year ago, but I continued to use it, again because it was my favorite and I did not know it. How did it become my favorite, I am not sure. Out of the 12 I have I used this one the most especially to cook breakfast every morning. Now for the past few days I have been struggling to use a different spatula and I promise I am not flipping pancakes and making eggs like I was last week.

Even today, I am still trying to figure out why can I not let go of it. Yes its still on my counter. I realized I am a creature of habit especially when it comes to home and everyday life. As I was washing the dishes yesterday, I thought why wont you throw that away you can not use it for anything, but maybe I can fix it. In reality I cant. Glue or tape wont hold up to heat. Then of course, other things started going through my mind and I got distracted and its still there. I began to think about people in my life and relationships. Just like my broken spatula are there broken people or broken relationships that need to be fixed and cant be. If they can not be fixed why is that. Is it because I am such a creature of habit and struggle with change or is it that they are not willing to help in fixing the brokenness. Just like my spatula cracked right in the middle, any broken relationship has to be repaired right in the middle. Both people willing to come together and glue it back. If the two pieces cant be repaired then you will have to throw it away. For instance supposed when my spatula broke there was a little plastic piece that I did not see fall off and got lost, then when I went to fix it, it just did not work. Just like that relationship with that person, there maybe something missing so unnoticeable that it just can not be fixed until something else happens. Sometimes we are unsure of what that other thing is. A person has to come to their own reality and be willing to fix themselves before they can repair some relationships.

Fast forward, I never finished this post, but its a week later and I still have my spatula. So yes, there are still things I need to resolve within. There are relationships or friendships that I need to determine if they are reparable.

Satisfaction Or Maybe Not.........

This past weekend, hubby and I went to dinner while my son was at a friends birthday party. We decided to get Thai food, which I have not really had a really good Thai meal since leaving New Jersey. We had a favorite place in Somerset that was very authentic and no you would never see Pad Thai on their menu. Sitting down and going through the menu, I realized how hard it is for me to order off a menu these days. I am always looking at what the dish includes, wondering what ingredients are in it, how is it prepared, how is it going to look and most of all is it going to meet all of the flavor profiles and textures that a meal should.  Through my learning process of cooking and trying to grow more, I try with every meal to be sure it is satisfying and meets the basic flavor profiles and textures. I have figured it out, when I do this, I am not over indulging in anything, because I have met what I was looking for in that meal. When there is something is lacking whether sweet, savory or even crunchy, I may eat a little more or have desert or something else because again I am craving something that is not there.

In life, think about it......when we are not satisfied emotionally, spiritually, physically and in other areas of our lives, we often indulge in other things until we feel like we have reached that level of satisfaction that we thought we needed or wanted. When its not meant, many times we go through the same things and repeat the same cycles over and over again. I have struggled with my weight for a long time for various reasons, many times turning to food for comfort for something that I was lacking. I would say I was an emotional eater. I ate when I was sad, happy or just because I was bored. I ate in social gatherings, alone but used food as my friend. I was not necessarily eating because I was hungry, but because I was in a situation that I needed satisfaction or comfort. As I began to grow, and well I am still growing and learning on a daily basis I am ensuring that my needs are met emotionally, spiritually, physically, and other areas of my life so there is no need for over indulgence. Each thing I do leads to something else. It should set me up for the next thing.

Think about this. When you have a coursed meal, lets go with 5. The courses are prepared in small portions, each course cleanses your pallet for the next and between all of the courses every texture and flavor profile will be met. At the beginning of your meal you may think there is no way this is going to fill be up but by the end you will realize you will be, because of the course settings and what was in each course. In your every day think about it like this are my task or goals for the day preparing me for the next thing. Am I over indulging for no reason at all. Small steps can be measured better than big steps. We all are working towards something. Take time to think about those small courses and how they can be better the next time. Don't do things out of emotion, do the things that you believe in and are satisfying.

Over the past few months I have lost almost 20 pounds. I have been asked with the food I cook, etc. how is that possible. Its as simple as this. I don't over indulge.  I prepare meals that are satisfying so we don't need a lot.  I prepare things in a healthier manner, use as less processed products as I can and other things like that. I am not a gourmet chef by far but I can prepare a meal for some of the best chef's out there that would leave them satisfied.

Just like my life these days, I am exactly where I want to be today and am working toward who I am going to be tomorrow and that simply is a better Arione every day. I don't have to out do anyone else, or try to be someone else to be great. All I have to do is be me. When it comes to this new endeavor, I just have to keep doing it. A fellow blogger had on her blog would she be okay if no one ever read her blog another day. I asked myself the same question. My answer is yes. Why because this is something that I have wanted to do, I am doing it, its satisfying and its helping me to grow. Its meeting those basic things in my life.

If you are not satisfied, what are you missing? What's that secret ingredient? How do you find it? How do you accomplish it?

I am going to call this post "The Spices of Life"

This week, I decided to clean out my plethora of spices. I do this about every six months. As I am doing so, I notice I have a lot of multiples half used, some unopened. Some I have no reason why I even had them. In some spices I had a wide variety of each. I began to group them by type-sweet, savory, spicy, etc. Then I realized the ones that I have many of are my go to ones, like soy sauce-I have a variety of it in brands, low sodium, regular, & dark. My next go to is Vinegar- well lets say I will never have a shortage-there was a range from plane white vinegar to aged balsamic to champagne. The next would have been garlic, there was garlic powder, garlic salt, crushed garlic, garlic infused olive oil and some other things that included garlic. In the midst, I received a text from someone and it caused me to think. All of my friends are like a spice. Different in their own way and add something to my life. Just like with spices they are unique in their own way, add something to every dish, none are exactly the same. Many of my friends have similarities but all of them are very different.

As I am still sorting and tossing things that were no longer in date, it made me think about the cycle of life and how people are there some for the long term and some for short periods. Like why I knew why I had some of my spices and no clue to the rest-its the same way with people. I have 3 girlfriends, that I could relate to my three go to ingredients. I have been friends with them for anywhere to 12 years or more. They are Robyn, Persephone and Takima. I will let them figure out which spice I think they are. These three ladies have been friends with me and have added things to my life in so many different ways and no matter how much time or space is between us we can pick up the phone and its never a struggle to pick up where we left off. Now not to say, I dont have other good friends because I do, but like with my soy, vinegar and garlic, these three never fail. I can use all of these ingredients all at once and have a perfect dish or I can use them individually have a perfect dish. Just like with them, we can hang as a group or individually and everything is perfect. We are all spicy in our own right.

I also thought about grouping and socialization-how are my friends group, how do they mix. Think about it when you are preparing a meal, you put together the things that mix well together and compliment each other, so that the dish is appealing, taste well and meets your need at that moment. I used to be bothered when I was not included in things with groups of friends, but think about it just like a recipe, I may not have fit into that event or activity that night. Maybe they were doing something I had no interest in or whatever the case may have been. Although there is a flip side, some people could just be rotten-like those old spices that I had left in the cabinet. Either way, its okay with me. Some people stick to what they know and will not venture out with spices, just like they wont with friends. Personally, I don't understand why but to each its own. I like variety in people and in things and in food of course. Life would be very boring without it. I have different friends who add different things to my life-at different times-in different seasons and for different reasons.

That being said, no I don't mix them all together and hope it works-I would not do that with one of my recipes so why would I do it with the people I know. Somethings just don't mix. Now you may be thinking that is a harsh thing to say, but its the truth. Its as simple if my friend does not like Sushi-why am I going to force them to go to Sushi restaurant. Why they would not want to eat and the experience would not be enjoyable for either of us. I want as many positive experiences in my life as possible, so if I know it will probably be negative why put myself in that situation. Same with my recipes, I want them all to be great but they may not. So what do I do, keep adding spices and seasonings, hold onto my go to's, add in the ones that go well together, get rid of the rotten ones and experience life to the fullest.

I leave you who and what are the spices in your life? Where do they fit? Who are you go tos? Are they rotten and need to be cycled out?

You hold the key to the perfect recipe of your life, but you need your spices to make it complete.

Over the past week I have been contemplating on where I see myself going with This & That. There are many things that I would like to see happen, so I have decided that I will take things as they come. I have been researching other bloggers, recipes, cookbooks, cooking techniques, how to get published and everything else. Everything I read says that you have to find your niche, no more just cooking and doing things like just a seasonal cookbook. I need to stand out. Of course I got to thinking how am I going to stand out from the millions of others that are doing very similar things. Well about 36 hours later after that thought, the light went off in my head and now I know exactly what I am going to do. I am not ready to put it out there yet, but I can promise you it will be great. During this time when I was thinking what made me stand out in my life and what makes me unique. Then I started thinking about people I know and people you read about and what makes them unique. Of course, I had to relate those thoughts to my passion which is food. What makes my food unique? What is going to make it stand out? Why are people going to want to eat it?

My answer is everything will be unique as I am. There is no one set way to prepare a meal. Some of us eat only organic, farm to table, some eat only processed foods. But that is who we are. My goal is not to change what you eat, but to eat and prepare meals that fit you. My recipes will be written in ways that you can tweak them to fit your life. Personally, I try to prepare as many fresh products as possible and have less processed foods. I buy as many local foods as I can including eggs, honey, meats and vegetable. I do believe that when you eat from your environment it helps with allergies and sickness. I have learned and am still learning how to preserve fresh ingredients. Now that does not mean I don't keep processed things. But again I just pick and choose at the time what I am using or not using. So yes if you came to my house you would see some jarred pasta sauce, canned goods and other items. Why because, I still want to be prepared in case of a natural disaster. Yes, I am weird like that.

As for my endeavors, there will be some personal cheffing (pretty sure that's not a word)  going on, cooking lessons, preparation tutorials, what to stock when its in season kind of things. I will have a plethora if information for those who are interested in food and it meeting you where you are. You wont have to be a trained or gourmet chef. All you will need to do is spend a little time and make a little effort. A lot of people assume it takes a lot of time to make things but it really does not.

Today I thought what do I really accomplish in a day. So, lets see my typical day is I get up between 5am and 6am, I shower, get myself together, get my son ready for school, iron everyone'c clothes, fix breakfast, feed the dog, make lunches, take my son to school and whatever else comes in between before 7:30 am. At 7:45, I drive Myles to school, drop him off and depending on what else I need to get done I am back home by 8:15, then I am checking work related emails, scheduling meetings, working, making family plans, attending work meetings, board meetings or whatever before the school day ends.I pick Myles up at 2:30-2:45, do whatever needs to happen, home for homework, cooking dinner, cleaning, bathing and everything else that comes along with it. Then onto the computer again to check work, maybe blog, maybe play a game and do something to entertain myself. Sometimes it wounds up being volunteer work because of the work I am signed up for in the community. Its not easy to say the least. My days are filled with some type of work and obligation. Today I had to tell a group something about myself, and all I could talk about was my new adventure with food and doing some personal parties and personal cheffing. It never crossed my mind to talk about eh 4 boards of directors that I presently serve on. Maybe because those are the things I do to stay invested in my community and are passionate about. All I wanted to talk about was my love for food and making people happy. One day I will figure it all out, how do we find happiness, eat healthy and give back to the community that you live in. We all have some part in it all. If its buying sustainable foods, decreasing waste, etc. Donating your time, talents and treasures to you community. There is always something that needs to be done. There will always be the haves and the have knots. There will always be people in need. Its has been like this since the beginning of time. We can all make a difference to some degree. We may not be able to change the world. but we can help one person at a time.

One of my goals this year is to reduce food waste. As much as I like to cook, I realized we threw away a lot of food. So one of my goals is to figure out what can I do with leftovers, can I freeze, can I make something else out of the same ingredients. Its a work in progress to say the least to repurpose things. Many people do it with clothes and other items. I see it like this there are so many with food insecurities and I dont want to     be that person how can I learn and teach the next person to use what they have and what is in season to make healthy affordable meals for their families. I don't have all of the answers but am learning as I go. Food wise I try to use as less processed products that I can and use whats available and local to prepare my meals. Yes I am looking for others to split a cow with, buying local chickens, goat, and pork and other products. I believe that if you eat from your environment, you decrease food allergies, etc. We eat local beef, honey, chickens, etc. Call me crazy but its just my opinion which I am entitled to just like you are entitled to yours. You have to do what is best for your family and your beliefs.

People  may assume its hard to make things home made but its not really. It takes the same amount of time. I can control and monitor our intake by making things on my own. I have to be accountable to me and my family. The dinner I made tonight was pretty healthy. Pan seared Mahi Mahi with Key Lime seasoning topped with Avacado Salsa, Black Rice and Steamed brocolli. Everything was power and protein filled. The black rice was new but is supposed to be very healthy.It was a little weird to eat but yes I would eat it again.

I don't really have a This N That, except be the best you can be for whatever presents itself and always be willing to do This or That with an unexpected outcome. You never know what will happen.

Well, yesterday was the first day back to school from Winter break. I think everyone was happy that kids were back to school. On my way to pick Myles back up from school yesterday, I decided to run into Kroger. I was undecided on what to make for dinner. I wanted to make a bolognese sauce for pasta and needed some mushrooms, then I thought I wanted to make stuffed meatballs with a tomato bacon sauce but needed some fresh mozzarella to stuff the meatballs. Well I get to Kroger and it was people everywhere. Then I saw they had some fresh Mahi Mahi and Catfish. Then I said well let me make fish for dinner. As you can see I was all over the place and had no clue what I would be making for dinner. Needless to say with all of the people in Kroger I was just trying to get out. I picked up some of the ingredients I thought I needed for each dish. Then realized I needed some eggs and a few other things. Well most of the eggs were gone. I still had not thought of the reason why the store was so crowded. I head to get Myles and realized that the weather was supposed to turn for the worse. For the life of me I cant understand why people buy bread, milk & eggs in a storm? I would say you should get non perishables instead of perishable food. I understand bread because you can make a sandwich.

Fast forward, I get home and cooked nothing that I had previously thought I would make, lets just say I had no motivation whatsoever. I did not want to stand in the kitchen and prep anything. So, I thought to myself why am I not motivated. Very simple. I am a planner and usually know what I am doing from day to day. I know what I want to prepare for meals, I know what each of us in the house have to do each day and so on. If I don't have a plan how am I to know where I am going or what I am doing. So, I decided that I would cheat and make some spaghetti (well my ground beef had totally thawed so I had to cook it). I always keep jar sauce-just in case luckily last week I picked up 3 jars. As I am cooking I realize, I really did not want spaghetti but we needed to eat. So in hindsight, I know that I have to plan no matter what it is or else I will wound up settling for what is there. Now not saying the the spaghetti was not tasty. I know I could have done better, if I would have took the time out to plan our meal.

There is a saying "Those who fail to plan, plan to fail". The Bible also says "Write the Vision Make it Plain". So as I venture through my new endeavor of being a home chef, blogging, starting to brand This & That, I have to plan it and write it down. For instance, I don't measure or usually write down what I am doing when I am cooking, well how can I tell someone else if I don't have record of it. My goal is to take picture and write it down. This will help me determine what will go in my cookbook and what will not.

My This &That for yesterday, is plan for your This & That. Don't get caught unprepared. Write it, plan it, do it.

In celebrating Myles 6th birthday today, I think back over the past six years of my life and am in awe of the lessons I have learned and how truly blessed I am. For a minute today, I said why am I writing a blog, maybe no one is reading, but then I thought I am going to keep writing because its one of the things that I love to do. My son loves to write also. He is working hard at journaling and sound out words and doing things on his own and I am amazed. He is spelling things phonetically which I am totally fine with but he is learning and growing by leaps and bounds. 

I am not sure that I have a This or That for today, more reflection, that life is exactly what you make it. It is up to you to get up every day and do it again. Either you control your circumstances or you let them control you. Last night I was talking to hubby about the idea that I have right now for starting This N That and providing some individualized services to small groups or families to start building capital to eventually own a restaurant. We all have to start from somewhere and be willing to do what needs to be done to get there. No matter how many people are against you or even when you feel there is no hope, you have to find that silver lining in each cloud.

I have never been a big soup eater but today I decided that I was going to make soup. Every where I have been recently, I have been eating soup. In the past few weeks, I have fell in love with Panera's Cheddar Broccoli soup. I have tried Lemon Orzo with chicken, Posole and some others. After trying Posole I pretty much figured I did not like the texture of Hominy. My next thing was to figure out what could I substitute. I have been reading recipes seeing what different chef's/cultures put in their pork stew recipes and came up with my own. Like I said I will always be a student, learning and developing from others and my own experiences. Today I did my take on Posole. I did not use all of the traditional ingredients and tried to lighten it up a little. I think it came out pretty good. Hubby says I should have added more carrots and maybe some celery to it for flavor. Yes I have my own personal food critic at home. Just like now, Myles is refusing to eat his dinner which is pizza bagels. So now its a test of wills. I am telling him he cant have anything else until he eats so he is teary eyed of course. He has been eating junk all day (it's his birthday lol). 

Every day you have a chance to do something new or improve on what you did yesterday. This year, and this blog is helping me stay accountable is to get up every day and do something different and not to be complacent. This year, I will do more for my community and give back more. I am not totally sure as to what that means, because I am stretched pretty thin. But sometimes the smallest gesture can really help someone. Maybe today This N That is what are you doing between This N That this year. What did you do yesterday that was your This but today you can make it your That! 

Just like with cooking, a change in preparation or a change in an ingredient can make the world of a difference. It will change the whole flavor of your dish or maybe even your life. You never know until you are willing to change and change your This into your That. What is That thing that you need to do or have been wanting to do. Why are you not doing That thing? For me I can say, I am such a creature of habit that I am used to doing This because its what I always do, now I am determined to do That just because its different. Who knows what doors will open and what impact you will have if you are willing to change one thing at a time. Like with recipes, I may leave out one ingredient or add a new one and my dish becomes something totally different. 

So tonight I just ask that you think about your This N That and do one thing to change you This to your that you your That to your This and see what happens.  Be sure you check out my Face book page for pictures and recipes of what is mentioned in my blog. 

Saturday, is usually the one day throughout the week, that I do not cook and we either eat out, or try and finish up any leftovers from the week. So what better day than to write about something else.

Today's post is not so much about food as it is about becoming a mother. My son will be six years old tomorrow and its such a big time of reflection for me. I always knew what kind of mom, I wanted to be but to this day I am not sure that I am her yet. I think back to my pregnancy, and remember I slept through the first trimester, the second trimester I was reading every parenting book, researching on line and being crazy about what was happening with my body. My third trimester which many of you know, was spent mostly in the Long Term Care Pregnancy Unit at Robert Wood Johnson Hospital in New Brunswick, NJ. I wont go into the details of everything that happened to lead me there, but at that point my only goal was to keep my little guy baking as long as possible. At this point I realized what I was actually doing, I was responsible for growing a life inside of me and bringing it into the world. In hindsight it is such a great responsibility that I am not sure until some gives birth they will understand what I mean. I have nothing against or am I speaking against anyone who has not done it for whatever reasons. For me, I just realized the importance of what I was doing and did not take it for granted.

I was 30 years old when Myles came along, part of me was thinking I am late, because I had looked at many of the people I knew and their children were older, and I was the only one that would have an infant and how would that impact my life and friendships. I can say fast forward these past six years, life has been different, I have lost some friends and gained some in the process. Some have become distant but are still there, and of course I have those people that I have known forever and time and space never makes our friendships strained. We can not talk for weeks or even months at a time and pick up right where we left off from. Those are the people I cherish daily.

I delivered Myles at 3:18 am on January 5, 2008 via emergency C-section. It was probably the scariest thing that I had to go through but I knew I had to do it. It was just Sean and I in New Jersey with no family. When the prepped me for my C-section, Sean was not allowed in the OR until I was fully ready. I thank God for my OB at that time, Dr. Ham. She was not my regular but I had been seeing her more frequently since I was in the hospital for so long. I had a flood of emotions while they were giving me my epidural and could not do anything but cry. She provided comfort and reassurance at that point that I would not ever forget. Fast forward I was ready, Myles was delivered 5 weeks to the day early. He was born, with no health issues or any other concerns. He was considered a late term preemie because I did not make it to 36 weeks. Of course I could not hold him, but when they showed him to me, I looked at him and at that moment I realized true love. He stole my heart. I never would have thought you could love another person so much. Many other moms had told me this but I had just experienced it for myself.

Through these six years, he has taught me so many things about myself, he has taught me many things about life and how to be a better person. Being a mom is one of the hardest things in life I will ever have to do in my opinion. No matter what I will always be his mom. I will have to be a friend, a teacher, a disciplinarian, a coach, his encouragement, with a whole list of other things that will come along with it.There are things that he will need to learn from me about women, the example that I set for him will teach him what to expect from other women, what we emulate as a family is very important. One of the lessons I am learning is that children do what they see, not what they are told. So as a mom and wife, I must set the best example I can for him in my womanhood. Some days I am not sure what that is, because I question my own actions sometimes (did I do that right or could I have done that better). I often wonder what does he see when he looks at me. Last night, I moved a chair in his room because he wanted to watch the Smurfs 2. He said "Mommy you always think of the best things" I said "Really" his response was "You are the best mom I could ever have". I then smiled and said "You are the best son I could every have". I may not ever get mom of the year or any other award and I don's need it. My reward is knowing that I am being the best mom to the gift that I was given by God.

So my This & That for today, always be the best at no matter what you do. Always get up the next day and try again. Things are written in all kinds of books as to how we should or should not do things, but you have to figure out what works for you and your family. This is an ongoing effort. What someone else has done may not be the way I am supposed to do it but I can use it as a guide and reference. Like with all of the parenting books I read while pregnant and all of the advice that everyone good and bad gave me. We do what works for our family and make adjustments as necessary. I used to always say my kid would eat whatever I cooked and I would not make two meals and blah blah blah, but what do I do. I make things for him that I know he will eat and hubby and I eat totally different things. Again, some people my frown even the pediatrician. He recommends putting food on his plate and not allowing him other things until he eats what I give him. No snacks or anything else. Well, I did not agree with that of course so I deal with a picky eater, but I wont starve him either.

Maybe I can relate this to food.....LOL I constantly read recipes on line and in books. I never follow them exactly this is probably the reason I cant bake cakes and bread because you have to follow the recipe exactly. But with food recipes I adjust them to my liking or to who I am cooking for. If there is an ingredient that I do not like, I replace it with something comparable. If it does not come out right, I try it again. Just like in life keep trying until you get to where you want to be. I keep testing dishes and recipes until I get them where I want them to be. I have had some epic fails and great successes. I will continue to do my best at everything that I do.  I will be student my whole life, there is always something to learn from something or someone else. Its never too late to fulfill your dreams and live the life you deserve.

I wont have any meals posted today, but I will tomorrow. Have a great Saturday everyone.

So last night, I created this blog and a Facebook Group for This & That and then of course my brain went into overload and I could not sleep. I had tons of thoughts like what am I going to write about, what I am going to cook, how am I going to organize all of my recipes and sort through all of the pictures, what do I want my blog to really be about. I have all of these sites, now how do I link them? Of course I am not as savvy as I thought I was, I signed up for Hootsuite and am clueless......So in the wee hours of the morning, this is what I decided. That I will take it day by day and it may not all come together at once but with perseverance it will. What I figured out is that this will keep me on track and accountable. I have put my dream off long enough. Its time to do the thing that I love to do.

I thought I would write about celebrating my sons sixth birthday this weekend. For a moment I thought well I can make some of his favorite things. Then reality set it. He is the pickiest child I know. He unfortunately eats nothing I cook. He will say mommy that smells really good and he tells everyone I am the best cook in the world. He refuses to eat meat, well he will eat chicken nuggets but refuses to believe they come from chickens. I wonder if when I was pregnant did I ruin him. The only meat I would eat was ground beef when I was pregnant. Everything else pretty much made me gag. Just about everyday I had to have a fresh California Burger with no bread, with either french fries or a baked potato with sour cream and BBQ sauce to dip. This is what I ate pretty much the first 27 weeks of pregnancy. Once I was on bed rest I had to eat what they offered at Robert Wood Johnson, which was not bad thankfully. I did not gain any weight with him until this point either. Well I did, I gained 9 pounds, then once on bedrest I gained 20. Go figure.

So in honor of his birthday and the good old pregnancy days tonight for dinner I will be making homemade burgers, I am going to try and mix ground beef with Chorizo, cilantro, garlic and some other spices and put them in the grill pan and cook to medium. I will also make some home made hand cut french fries. I think I will top the burgers with lettuce, tomato, jalapeno, red onion maybe I will experiment and make some cilantro or garlic mayo. Its not the healthiest, but I will put it on some honey wheat sandwich thins to cut out some of the carbs.

For Myles, he will probably want pizza bagels or pizza. Shameful I know, but what do you do. One day, he will realize that mommy really makes good and healthy food and it will be a joy to eat it. Until then, I will keep pressing and trying to get him to taste things. We have exposed him to many different cultures and people, he has been to five star restaurants but has no desire to eat anything. He is just starting to read so I will typically tell him what they have for options, but now that he is starting to read, he can sound out some of the words. Most waitresses are amazed that he can order his own food, from drinks to desert with no problem. He will tell them how he wants it cooked or what he does or does not want in it. He can even politely let them know when his order is wrong. I am just happy he can sit through a full dinner in any kind of restaurant.

Please feel free to leave comments, recipe request or post your own recipe. I ask that you not post links and just copy and paste as links will cause spam. If you want me to try and make something let me know.

Dinner pictures and recipe will be posted later today after I make it of course. In the meantime, you can visit me on Facebook at : https://www.facebook.com/groups/624401594263213/ or you can stop by my Pinterest Boards at http://www.pinterest.com/mommy105/. I am working on my Google+ and Twitter.

So I am finally doing it, I have procrastinated long enough and have been my own enemy long enough. I always say I am going to do this but have never taken the time to really focus and do it, so now I figure I need to start from somewhere. Everything may not be in line the way I wanted it, but hey its a New Year and you never know until you try.

Anyone that has known me for more than a month I would say, would know how much I love to cook and entertain. I am just an at home cook perfecting my craft until all the stars align and I can do what I love to do as a profession. In the meantime, I am learning, experimenting and teaching others what I know. I honestly don't know when I started to cook independently, but I do remember just watching everyone around me do it. No one ever let me try or really showed me. I just watched, read books and when I was old enough I just started practicing. What I have learned through the years, is that no matter where you go and who you are around, food brings people together. Whether its in happy or sad times. Food is an expression of emotion. We eat when we are happy, sad or indifferent.

My food is not complicated, it truly expresses me and the things that I like. Many people assume the things that I make take a lot of time and effort and they do not. My food is like me simple ingredients combined to make an elegant dish.

You may wonder why I chose This & That! I think its my ying and yang. Its my balance. Many assume that I am one way and others assume I am another. For instance I have people who call me a Diva and others call me a Martha Stewart Redo, but I am both. I love my designer bags and shoes, but I also love being at home decorating, cooking, making things by hand, sewing and most of all taking care of my family. So yes I am a little bratty sometimes, but trust once you get to know me, you will understand why.

This & That will cover so many things, from life, food, family, my rants and anything in between. Thank you for taking the journey with me as I move forward into my destiny.